He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
