My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
