At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
