oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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