Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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