You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
