Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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