she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
