My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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