12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
