i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
