I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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