White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
