SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
