U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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