dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
