she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
