Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
