I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
