I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
