why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
its not stalking. its research.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
