Just mADE A PArabola og urine
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
