I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
