Quick, to the slutcave!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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