I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
