So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
it hurts more in the daytime
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
