Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
