Apparently you make a good broom.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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