i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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