dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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