I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
