My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
