the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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