...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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