Where is the hickey?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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