oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
