he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dignity is for republicans.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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