my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
