Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
