did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She is in my trunk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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