I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
