We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
