Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
