she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
