2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
