hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
