A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
