Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
