the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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