Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
