wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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