Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
